Hey, hey, hey…It’s Mother’s Day!

IT’S THE FREAKIN’ WEEKEND, MOMMY’S!!!!

I know this weekend is supposed to be extra special for the maternal role model but allow me -if you will- a moment to tell you why we are more than just a single recognized calendar day (that some of us try to stretch out over a couple of days [#weekendwinning]).

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Let me be VERY clear, I love the thought of a designated day reserved just for me. It makes me feel all warm and cozy on the inside.

BUT….

Let’s be honest with ourselves. When we decide to embark on the journey of motherhood…even before the very moment of conception…there is no longer any day that is JUST ours. Every waking hour is filled with thoughts of our  widdle shuga bears.

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Prepartum thoughts are filled with the wonders of what he/she would look like, what type of parent you would be, and all of things you would definitely do with/for/to your baby.

Antepartum thoughts are fueled with emotion and anticipation. The joy of knowing there is a person growing within your body and feeling every twist, turn, hiccup and kick is mind-blowing. You only want the best for that baby and you plan on how to make it happen.

Postpartum and beyond he/she needs to be bathed,  fed, dressed, taken to school, homework must be done, play dates arranged, and time-outs enforced.

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We worry about safety and we plan for the future. We manage the household EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. for EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. that resides there. We inventory everything from the attic to the basement and back again because  “MA HAVE YOU SEEN” and “HONEY WHERE’S MY” is a real thing.

The list is infinite but we get it done.

We are nurses, private investigators, chefs and referee’s. We are educators, dream builders, and support systems. We are designers, artists and entertainers.

And sometimes we are all of these things all in one day for 365 days.

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It doesn’t matter what stage you’re in, a true mother will always be in mommy mode.

It’s impossible to cram appreciation for all the love a mother’s heart contains in one day when we love for 365 of them We deserve daily recognition. No matter how seemingly small.

I don’t know about you but I’m pretty simple. I get over the top excited for things like completed chores (unscripted), manners, good grades, thoughtfulness, and a show of appreciation for the little things.

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I don’t want to see that 1, one, I, ☝️ day out of the year. I want to know that, from January 1st through December 31, I raised or am raising decent individuals capable of and willing to exhibit acts of UNselfishness and unwavering will and determination to succeed.

I don’t want to wait for the next Mother’s Day because the only days that were guaranteed to me were yesterday and all the days before it.

I don’t want my appreciation in one lump sum and you shouldn’t either. So as you receive your wishes of happiness, flowers, hugs, kisses and whatever else makes you feel like a queen for this one day remember that you are a queen everyday, flowers are available year round, and hugs and kisses are free.

A lifetime of memories is never created in just 24 hours.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY EVERYDAY!

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How Self-Love Can Help You Succeed.

#apostwithnoimages

#theonlythingyouneedtoseeisYOU

Last week, I spoke about finding your purpose. I feel it’s important to be driven by something (your purpose) that is meant to magnify not only the happiness in your life but also in the lives of those you encounter.

You see, when you feel good about yourself you are in a better position to influence the direction your life goes and encourage and uplift others along the way. For that reason, I am ranking self-love one notch higher on the priority front over finding your purpose.

I have paid tribute to, in various degrees, self-love in a few of my posts. If you missed any of them, click here for the one about happiness, or here for my thoughts on committment. Maybe positivity is what you’re lacking. This is just for you.

The way in which you identify with yourself has strong direct and indirect influence in how you identify with every aspect of your life. Adorning your id and ego gives a dramatic boost to your super ego. So why not show up and show out for yourself in whatever fashion suits your fancy.

Before you can move forward on your journey through the valley of self-love, however, you have to get your affairs in order. Holding on to anger, animosity, and disdain from any situation will only help you remain stagnant.

Be it something done by you or to you, recognize that it didn’t break you. It taught you. In the heat of the moment you might have missed the lesson but now you are cool. Think about what you have experienced and what could have been done differently through a positive light.

 Remember that you cannot always control the external stimulus but you can control your reaction to it. This is how you regain and maintain control of self and replace hate with love.

Next, say goodbye to all the BADS…bad habits, bad relationships, and bad friendships. Let it go. Anything or anyone who deviates away from the direction you want to grow has no place in your circle. Why? Keeping them is the equivalent of trying to grow lucky bamboo plants in direct sunlight. You will get burned!

Now that you have preened your garden, you have the room to plant the seeds of self-love.

It’s not selfish to tend to your needs. I, for one, have had my share of guilt in neglecting my own needs for the sake of others. No one can, will or should commit to your needs more than you. Taking time out for yourself is refreshing. When you’re refreshed, you’re better equipped to handle the what’s next in your success story.

Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. The way you carry and speak of yourself is highly contagious. Lead by example and set boundaries for what is and is not acceptable when it come to you and, most importantly, STICK TO IT! Allowing others to dictate your life doesn’t pull them into your mindset. It dissolves you in theirs.

Lather yourself with physical, emotional and spiritual gifts. All things that make you feel great are good!!! Life comes at you hard. So every opportunity that presents to uplift your spirits and rejuvenate your mind should be taken. When an opportunity doesn’t come…MAKE ONE!!!

What The Beauty In Self-Love Is Not…

The world is full of beauty. Your beauty, however, is unique to you. What you see on tv and in pictures or read in books may not accurately depict YOUR state of extraordinary. Trying to mimic what you see is a mistake.

Beauty is not just your physical appearance. It’s not just a pretty face or attractive body.

It’s definitely not a cosmetic enhancement-though with the many advertisements and videos, it’s easy to see why and how one can be conditioned to believe it is.

The bad news: if all you have is everything mentioned above then what you really have is limitations.

The good news: that’s not really all you have. You just have to take the time to get to know you, embrace what you find…The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, and make it what you will.

Loving yourself is so detrimental to the success of your endeavors throughout your lifetime. How you portray yourself is the face value at which you will be taken.

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The Walking Dead

Hi.

I was recently in attendance at the funeral of a close relative. Normally, I try to avoid funerals whenever possible but, because this was my uncle, I had to be there.

My problem is not that I attended the funeral but that I had to be around my family. I hate to be in the same room with them. Whenever we all get together, you feel the tension in the air. It’s very uncomfortable. Everyone’s interaction seems forced. Literally, the only time we get together is when someone dies.

Sometimes, I feel bad because I have a child that doesn’t even know his own cousins but I don’t have the desire to engage in conversation with their parents to allow them to bond.

Do you think I’m being petty?

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Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: Yes you are. What type of disaster of astronomical proportions occurred that turned the whole family against one another?

Is there some sort of family feud? Did someone take the last donut or run over the family pet? Man, I feel like I have more questions than answers.

Whatever it is, you can’t be mad for the rest of your life. Well, you can be but what do you gain from it and what type of example are you setting for the future of your bloodline?

It’s a shame that the children in the family are being forced to miss out on the bonds that normally form between cousins. Is there a matriarch or patriarch in your family that you can speak with and work with to discover what’s wrong and try to mend it?

Honestly, it makes no sense nor does it prove beneficial to carry on a long running feud especially if it’s of unknown origins.

That’s my opinion.

If you would like my opinion, please complete the contact form below.

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